APRIL intention NEWSLETTER
APRIL intention / G R A T I T U D E
naturally, my favorite month is April. it is my birthday month, my new year, and my chance to start new again. APRIL is that time for everyone though. it is the beginning of the zodiac, it is the beginning of spring, and to me has always felt like the actual start of a new year. in fact, many cultures and customs do not follow the gregorian calendar. “Americans are used to a calendar with a "year" based the earth's rotation around the sun, with "months" having no relationship to the cycles of the moon and New Years Day falling on January 1. However, that system was not adopted in England and its colonies until 1752…. Throughout history there have been numerous attempts to convey time in relation to the sun and moon. Even now the Chinese and Islamic calendars are based on the motion of the moon around the earth, rather than the motion of the earth in relation to the sun, and the Jewish calendar links years to the cycle of the sun and months to the cycle of the moon.” Julius Caesar was the one to create 12 months in a solar year and changed the start of the year from march 1 to January 1. thanks Julius- what a weird move. really though- instead of controlling time we can focus on feeling the difference. the days become longer, the sun begins to feel warm again. trees bud, flowers bloom, and gratitude starts to sneak in a little more. i imagine you are all feeling it too. the bliss, the openness, the possibilities.
leading up to April, however, i almost always have some sort of breakdown. I try to see this as a purge before I begin a new year around the sun. shedding negative and useless feelings and thoughts in order to start a new again. things feel hard, lonely, cold, and as if nothing will change. back in February i was for sure thinking i was shutting the doors to the shop. sales were terrible, the shop was robbed, and i was so burnt out. just all around a ball of stress. i wasn’t sure i wanted to live this way anymore. unable to see or think clearly, unable to take trips or have any me time as i work on top of owning a store. i had created my life around freedom and little commitments- and the shop is a commitment and that is challenging for me, but also grounding . letting the shop go and saying it out loud actually brought more space into my life- for me. i started wanting to work out more. create more. feel less like a negative, worried human being. i started making plans after the shop would close- and the feeling was pure freedom which started to seem really desirable. i had let go of thoughts of failure or even success, i just let it be what it was to be.
things started to look up when i let go. my expectations wavered and in walked some really great opportunities. one being Lucy, our new marketing guru! Lucy has so many ideas (one of which being our new monthly newsletter). she is organized, smart, funny, and has changed my outlook on this whole running a shop thing- and she came to me, showing up in my little Instagram inbox- saving the day!
i began opening myself up to the people that are surrounding the shop and WANT to be there and letting them do more and me less while also being open to suggestions and collaborations! which also includes Lindsey- whom some of you may have met at the shop already! Lindsey has also been instrumental in encouragement and shares her expertise. she is my little angel floating around the shop. realizing i can’t do it all alone and i need to let go of some things is a new lesson in this shop life thing. i have been carrying the weight for a while now. it won’t succeed if i can’t find the joy or let go of complete control.
that is what spring is all about. letting go of the past and looking to the new year. getting excited, starting fresh, rebirth, and spring cleaning isn’t a term for nothing! we are are excited to show you all the new products we have been stocking up on and inspire you with all the new fun projects we have happening too. because you too are instrumental in this shop and it’s success. wanting to be a part of it- is everything! i am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity and the way it has just always kind of fallen into place.
so G R A T I T U D E . it is truly a practice. the first time i significantly understood gratitude was when i left my life of ten years in LA and lived in a cabin on a river in colorado, alone with wylie dog. i walked out my front door and was punched in the face with pure beauty. nature. animals. grass. sage. mushrooms. a river. horses. i was naturally filled with gratitude and i felt that translate into happiness. i was so scared to loose it when i left,i knew it would be a challenge- and i have had moments where i have lost it, many actually. it is hard to find it in every single moment, but trying creates a habit and a habit can become instinctual.
i recite to myself, while taking a shower, what i am grateful for. i find it in creating. i find it in the simplest of pleasures like lighting palo santo, drinking tea, feeling the sunshine, the birds chirp, a good conversation with a friend. the scent of my shampoo, the look on wylie’s face- always. understanding how lucky I am to have a supportive close family. the ritual of skincare, taking a few deep breaths, that i have an able body.
that is not to say i don’t have my moments. i still get major road rage, can produce negative self talk, take on judgment all to readily. i do think life happens and being positive all the time isn’t feasible. you need the bad to fight for the good. encouraging too much positivity, i believe, can also turn into shame if someone isn’t feeling positive all the time, but feels the pressure that if they aren’t positive they aren’t doing it right thus, failing. gratitude isn’t necessarily the same thing. gratitude is a mantra. it’s choosing to look at your life and see the good so you can get through the shit parts. it’s honoring your bad day or situation, by telling yourself- but i still have “this”.
as we embark on a new season and start packing away the scarves and gloves in some hidden crevice of our NYC apartments, i encourage you to make a list of what you are grateful for. tape it to your mirror, carry it in your pocket, or just recite it everyday while doing yoga, drinking some tea, or even on your commute. because when you can say- i am really lucky, i am really grateful… space opens up and the smile on your face can feel real again! our little shop is here to help you find your peace, gratitude, and inspiration. we love having you here.
happy new “year” everyone!